Good morning, world!

I just got home after running some errands, and while checking Facebook, I saw an interesting link about a campaign Dove is promoting called #choosebeautiful. This campaign’s purpose is to encourage women to embrace their beauty. They are doing this by putting up two signs above the doors to various places. One sign says “Beautiful” and the other says “Average“. The aim is for the women to choose the door that they feel represents their inner feelings about their own beauty. At the beginning of the video, most of the women around the world commented on how they didn’t perceive themselves as being worthy enough to enter the door below the “Beautiful” sign, and instead opted for “Average”. However afterwards, they all regretted their decisions and wished they could go back and change their minds. This got me thinking…..

What makes someone beautiful?

If you gauge beauty by what you see in a magazine or on television, then I guess none of us are beautiful. Even the women and men portrayed in magazines and television don’t start out looking like that; it takes an entourage of hair and makeup people, followed by a crew whose sole job is to make sure the lighting is perfect, and even after all of that, (and I’m SURE I’m missing a few ‘crews’) THEN comes the editing, where any and ALL traces of perceived imperfections are permanently removed. All of this is done, solely to make the rest of the world aspire to look like the finished product. But that’s impossible. If the model doesn’t even look like the model, how the hell can we?

Back in the day, and I mean way, way back, it was considered beautiful to have a rotund figure – voluptuous and full. In fact, in many societies, it was a sign of wealth. But now, the opposite seems to be true; the skinnier you are and the hungrier you look, the better. Can someone please explain this logic to me? Since when is it the standard for women to only be considered truly beautiful by means of Photoshop and some celery? Obviously there are many, many people who don’t follow this logic, and do indeed find women of all shapes and sizes beautiful, but where did society as a whole go wrong? Don’t we all realize what we’ve done?

Ponder the following:

1. We promote an unattainable image that basically says, “You’re only beautiful if you have a, b, c, d, e, f, etc.”

2. As a result, people all over the world struggle to achieve unachievable standards. And because it is virtually impossible, we try to navigate around the problem with plastic surgery, makeup, fancy hairstyles, fabulous clothes…. (I understand that how you dress is a symbol of personal style – I’m not referring to that aspect), etc.

3. Since so many of us will be unable to ever feel “good enough” and will spend our lives feeling ‘less than’, we become depressed and self-loathing, and that manifests itself in a plethora of negative ways. I know how I feel when I’m depressed – I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.

4. BUT…what we all seem to be overlooking…. is that little thing called TIME. No matter how hard you try, unless you are Rob Lowe or a vampire, YOU. WILL. AGE. Like a candle… your face will start to melt, and you’ll even shrink as your spine deteriorates. I know this sounds horribly depressing, but it’s true, nevertheless. By the time we are in our twilight years, all those efforts we put in, trying to stay “beautiful” will have diminished, and we will be left with………? What’s inside.

That’s right. You will be left with what’s inside. And I don’t mean that literally. But at the end of the day, everyones’ looks fade, and then your true self is what is left. So instead of worrying about being beautiful on the outside, why not focus more on the inside? I know it’s a cliché to say that “true beauty lies within”, but it’s true. I know so many men and women (NOT ALL) who, on the outside look perfect, but they’ve become so self-loathing in their efforts to attain that perfection, that they completely ignored their insides, and their insides, over time, became ugly. For some reason, some people feel that being pretty somehow makes them better or more entitled than the person next to them. And we allow this behavior because we reward it. Go to any popular nightclub. You see it all the time. Sarah – the hottie – gets in, while Jessica – the one who actually likes to eat more than once a day, and prefers a more natural look than Barbie – gets completely overlooked.

Sadly, chances are, Sarah is a bitch of epic proportions who refuses to pay for anything, and relies on the attention of men to keep her self-confidence in check, and Jessica is happy and excited about life, but who cares about that? She’s a size 8. 

I’m not saying that this is always the case; obviously there are many, many gorgeous men and women out there with personalities to match, but why are we even needing to have this discussion? Why is it that every time I go out and take photos, I have to edit them before I post them? I have to make sure I’m not too shiny, and if I have dark circles under my eyes, I fix those, too….Oh, but I don’t stop there. I have Instagram, so I THEN get to make sure that the lighting of my photos is as flattering as possible! I will say that I have never tried to Photoshop my body or make myself look skinnier, but what’s the difference? Why am I not satisfied with myself the way that I am? When I went out that night, I had circles and I was shiny, and everyone saw me, and we all had a great time, so why must I “fix” myself before presenting myself to rest of the world? Well, probably because I’m extremely vain. But that’s beside the point.

Seriously, though…. let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Let’s say you’re having a dinner party, and you’ve invited ten people. Hypothetically speaking, three of those people are genetically blessed, and are beautiful on the outside and the inside. Now let’s say that four of the other guests are perhaps average-looking by society’s standards, but they’re super fun, smart, engaging, basically just pick any positive adjective. Now – that leaves three people. Are they pretty on the outside and ugly on the inside? No. Why? Because who wants a good-looking asshole at a dinner party? The point is to have a good time, no? Are they ugly on the outside AND the inside? Probably not…. so who are these three people? The truth, is that they most likely fit into one of the other groups. Pretty & nice or Average & nice.

NOW…. let’s change the scenery, shall we? You’re going out on the town and you wanna have a fun, and perhaps even regrettable night. Whom do you invite? I will tell you that most people, in my experience, want the most arm candy. Personality goes out the window when you want to be “seen”. How shitty is that? Now I’m stuck with four stuck-up, anorexic bitches who think they’re better than everyone around them, including me. <— I’m exaggerating. I don’t actually experience this, because I don’t associate with people like this. EVER. I loathe people like this. Beautiful or not, if you’re arrogant and entitled, you need to do some serious work on yourself. You obviously hate your life, even if you prefer to live said life in utter and complete denial. Not to mention, vibes are real, so I don’t have time to hang out with people from Slitherin House. You wanna put that negativity out there to the universe? Well you can do it SOLO.

I have friends of all shapes and sizes (men & women), but they all have one thing in common: they are each uniquely beautiful for a multitude of reasons, and I hope they see themselves the way that I see them.

My point, is that in reality, everyone wants to look beautiful. But what everyone seems to be forgetting, is that what they should really be focusing their energy and attention on is feeling beautiful. Because when someone truly feels beautiful, the energy they put out is in kind, and then that person does indeed become beautiful, and that beauty will attract others in ways Sarah could only dream.

                Candles, Sarah…. candles.  

** These posts are purely my own opinions, and in no way do I ever try to make assumptions about the rest of the world… I just write what I see. And if you want to check out the Dove video that inspired this piece, here’s the link…. and NO, they aren’t sponsoring this. 

 https://youtu.be/7DdM-4siaQw