Ok, peeps. This is gonna be a short post, since I’m heavily drugged, and my mind isn’t working at its normal speed. I received a message from a girl named Elodie, and she wants to know what I think about ATM. At first I had to write her back and ask her what the hell that even meant. My instinct was to respond with, “ATMs are great – except when they charge exorbitant fees.” But alas, that was NOT the ATM to which she was referring. Apparently, ATM also stands for Ass To Mouth. Errrrr….

I’m not even sure where to begin. The mere thought reminds me of a Monopoly Board. “Do not pass the soap. Do not collect $200.” I can’t imagine a world in which I would engage in such an act voluntarily, but if I WERE ever to consider the ATM, it would cost a hell of a lot more than $200. Yuck. I guess if you’re into the taste of your own poo, then good for you? Butt – (misspelling intended) please don’t tell me about it. I have way too many visuals, and if you tell me you like it when your man enters through the exit and then shoves his junk into your mouth like it’s a straw, I will gag and then offer you gum, even if you don’t need it.

I don’t even know what else to say. As a matter of fact, I might need to add on to this at a later date when I’m NOT drugged AND constipated. Being constipated makes the whole idea even less appealing.

Oh, Elodie…. you might want to call your dentist for a check-up. I don’t think that’s chocolate stuck in your teeth.